How Much I Still Love You
by Midnight Rain
Summary: And even though you lied, and even though you pretended to care...I can't seem to get you out of my mind...Even after all he did, Draco Malfoy still haunts me...


**                                                            How much I still love you**

****

**_And even though you lied, and even though you pretended to care...I can't seem to get you out of my mind...and even though it seems like I should be over you, with every tear that falls, it reminds me of how much I am still in love with you... _**

_Reaching out, I put my hand on the wall steadying myself. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. My breath wouldn't come to be, it was as if my lungs had froze… as if my heart had broken into a million shards. _

_How could he do that?! I yelled at myself as I cleared my throat trying to keep the tears at bay. Trying not to let him know that he head weakened me. _

_He; Draco looked up with those perfect grey eyes from where he laid on the bed, completely undressed, kissing some blonde. "I- Draco… I don't know what to say to you. Besides, I should have known." _

_Draco pushed up from the bed, not bothering to cover his naked frame. Hermione looked down, in respect of course, but she didn't give him the pleasure of seeing her blush. Why should she? _

_"You can leave Heather," Draco dismissed the blonde, with a wave of his hand as he fumbled to get his pants on. _

_"But-" she started to protest, holding the sheets to her chest. _

_"YOU can leave, Heather," Draco repeated more forcefully, as he buttoned his pants. "Now!" _

_Heather stumbled from the bed, grabbing her clothes and quickly brushing past me. Her hair snapped, whipping me across the face. I didn't flinch as I turned back to Draco. "Interesting, did you enjoy that?" _

_"Much," he said walking forwards. _

_I frowned, "Good, you can enjoy it without worrying about all the extra weight," she said, bringing up their relationship that he had obviously completely forgotten about. _

_"Oh, I wasn't worried," he smiled, brushing a strand of wavy dark brown from my eyes. "I simply… do not care." He leaned over kissing my cheek. "I suppose we're through?" He said idly as he picked up his shirt, walking towards the door. "Bye, Hermione…" _

_~ _

It was ridiculous. I knew that I should _not still be grieving over the loss of Draco, but he had been such a big part of my life for so long. I brought the wine glass to my lips as I stared across the bleak horizon. Grey clouds boiled ominously, causing the waves to crash against shore angrily. _

I backed away from the French doors, setting the glass onto the end table. How lonely the house was without his presence. I felt the tear slowly fall from her eye. It was only a reminder that I was still head over heels in love with a man who didn't give a damn if I saw the next morning. 

He had loved me – or so he had said – for two years… And then he just left me. Was our life not quite exciting enough for the rich, Slytherin bachelor? Most likely. 

I collapsed on the couch, staring at the blank T.V. What right did he have to screw up my life this bad? What _right did he have?! _

Why did it have to be to feel like this? Why did I have to be the vulnerable one? Why do I have to be the one who would give up my _world to have him back? _

I lay back against the couch, staring at the ceiling. Chastising myself, I closed my eyes. 

I should be over him… 

I should forget him… 

Forget all the times he made me laugh… 

And remember all the times he brought tears… 

_Like now…_

Forget how he kissed… 

Remember instead the stinging sensation from when he turned around and slapped me… 

_I should have left then… _

Just forget all the wonderful moments we shared… and recall instead all the horrible mistakes he made… 

Did it always hurt this bad when you loose someone you love? I asked, curling into a fetal position and trying to drift off into sleep. 

But he face haunted me there… 

Perhaps it was best… 

To never fall in love again… 

To never trust… 

And to never give myself wholly to a man… 

That would be the best decision, I told myself as I slipped into a slumber.

But, I told myself…

I had not always made the best decisions… 

**Note: I do not own the quote at the beginning… if you know who does tell me and I will give them credit… nor do I own HP … I give all credit to J.K… **


End file.
